Popsonian

My friend M and his girlfriend are in a difficult situation. She has three kids of her own, they have a kid together, and their relationship is so troubled, it's destroying them both. I have tried to be mediator this evening. He called me. He was suicidal. I said I'd call her and ended up talking to her about their problems for 2 hrs. I now cannot get M to answer his phone, as he may have drank himself to sleep. The stress is driving my friend M towards alcoholism and weight gain (he is now prediabetic and drinking heavily several nights a week, taking anti-depressants and other meds for his health). His girlfriend is not doing great either. They have too much stress, too many problems, and cannot get along. He works himself to death. She can't find a job and pay for childcare. My friend M's mother is making things harder and even slapped MJ a while back. It is terrible. I almost don't believe how terrible the situation is. I now don't want to be in the middle, as I think they need to break up, have joint custody of their child, and go their separate ways otherwise. Please, pray for M and MJ and the children. My head hurts now from just talking about all of it for 2 hrs. I also don't want to be in the middle, because M is a close friend of mine and has been for years. They both need help and need to change. Please, pray for them and the kids. They really need your prayers desperately! Thank you, and may GOD bless you.

This sounds like a really bad situation. I will be praying for God's will to be done in their lives. I will also pray for you in this situation as well.

Maddie, that's what I'd say so I will say it too.

This sounds like a really bad situation. I will be praying for God's will to be done in their lives. I will also pray for you in this situation as well.

Thank you for praying for M, his girlfriend, and the children. Please, keep praying. The situation is so bad. They both have ways in which they should be compromising, and it's just a stand off that's killing all of them.

I asked them to both make a list of their grievances and expectations, and we are all supposed to have coffee on Sunday...with me playing the mediator, so they can try to learn how to express their needs, hurts, problems constructively. I fear this whole thing. I don't want to end up upsetting my friend by being in the middle, because both are to blame, and I fear my friend may not like that that's the way I see it. I think they need to break up, share custody of the child they have in common (a 20 month old), and live apart...have separate lives! The situation is bordering on violence or suicide. It's no way for anyone to live. Please, continue to pray for them. They need help.

Your prayers are working. Keep them coming. They are really working on their problems, owning up to their flaws... He says if things go well and stay well for a while, they are getting married like he promised a few years ago. Please, keep praying.

I'm still praying for the worst to be over with and they can discuss this like mature adults with manners and respect.
...well, at least with respect.

a lot of people don't know what manners are these days.

Does he really love her or just wanting more control?

I never said he was controlling. He works hard and treats all of the kids well, not just his child. I helped him shop for their Christmas presents and was shocked at how very generous he was with them, and genuinely interested in getting them really good gifts that would help them develop creative, intelligent hobbies. I mean he spent tons on those kids and wanted to get them really good presents. They both have a lot of things to work on in the give and take department, and strong personalities. The stress has really been damaging in terms of each feeling their expectations aren't being met and that they don't meet each others' expectations. It has been terrible for a long time, but things are starting to look up. Please, continue to pray for them.

Thanks Erin for clearing that up for me.
With your help Sunday, I hope they take your advice.

This morning before I got here, I've already sent prayers up for your situation and for theirs.

I too am still praying for this couple. May God show them the way to raise these children and to comtrol their feelings of anger when they try and talk things out.